What are the types of breakups and how do we grieve them?
When you think of breakups, more often than not our brain is wired to automatically assume a breakup with a romantic partner.
Though this is a type of breakup, it is not the only one people will experience in their lifetime. In fact, it may not even be one of the most difficult to manage.
Relationships come in different forms and facets. Wherever there is mutual love and respect between two or more people, there risks being some complex emotions that can lead to a breakup if not managed properly.
This is where breakup recovery comes in.
I often talk with clients about how breakup recovery isn’t just for romantic partnerships but it can be helpful for all relationships.
Breakup recovery allows you to gain support and the tools for navigating those in-between moments following a breakup. Breakup recovery can include support for the loss of connections between friends, family members, or within your career. They all can have lasting impacts, if not handled and worked through with care.
Family Breakups:
Blood is thicker than water, but sometimes family fallouts are inevitable. Family is our first first core relationship. But what happens when your first core example of relationship building falls apart? When there is a breach in trust or relationship, this can be heartbreaking. Whether it be with your siblings, parental figures or other close members, navigating this time, especially during the holidays takes strategy.
Family breakups are often During this time, try to reevaluate what boundaries you set for yourself and stay true to them! If this means limiting access during the holidays, or making other members aware of the breakup, then do so. Remember, there are some family members you are born with and others you get to choose. Consider finding a trusted community during this time.
Friendship Breakups:
Some may argue that the loss of a friendship hurts the most among the other types. Friendship breakups hurt because it is often a trusted source of companionship that is lost. This can be due to betrayal, lack of trust, or simply because the relationship drifted apart. As you grow older and mature, some friendship dynamics change.
If you are no longer close to a friend you once spent moments with, you deserve to grieve. Although they may not physically be gone, their presence is not as potent in your life causing you to feel the loss. Recovery from friendship breakups can look like other forms of recovery. You must first identify that the loss hurts and can be due to the faults of both parties. With this information, reflect on what you did better and consider joining a community of other like-minded people to help you along the journey. This will not automatically take the place of your close friend but it will keep you from feeling isolated.
Career Breakups:
Career breakups can and will happen to all of us. Breakups in your career can include losing a job or quitting. Both of these options require you to separate yourself from a familiar setting. No matter the situation or how it occurred, it can still bring a wave of emotions. These emotions can range from feelings of uncertainty if it was your main stream of income or feelings of doubt in your ability. If not managed these emotions can be taken with you in your next career journey and dilute your performance.
Grieving a career breakup may look a tad bit different than other relationships. Grieving may look like building your confidence back up and focusing on honing the skills that you are good at. Try taking a class and meeting up with other professionals in your field who may be able to offer you some support.
If you can identify with one or more of these forms of breakups, consider yourself human. There are plenty of people who are navigating these difficult times alongside you.
For those needing support with the in-between moments of your breakup, my “Single, Empowered, and Free: Decolonize Your Singlehood Mindset & Redefine Your Future” seminar can help!
This 1-hour self-paced course will help you shift the focus from thoughts about everything you’re doing wrong in relationships to challenging the systems making you feel like you’ll never be enough.