How to Trust Someone New
If you’ve been trying to make new friends and keep ending up back at square one, I want you to know this: it’s not because you’re awkward, too much, or not interesting enough. It’s because building real, aligned connection as an adult requires something we don’t talk enough about:
Trust.
It’s the foundation of intimacy. And without it, even the most promising relationship can stay stuck in small talk territory.
But here’s the thing: most of us don’t even realize how much fear is running the show.
We go into new relationships already guarded. Already comparing this new person to our ride-or-dies from back in the day. Already assuming they’ll flake, ghost, disappoint, or just not “get us.” And when you’ve been hurt before—betrayed, let down, left behind—of course you’re going to be cautious.
But suspicion doesn’t protect us the way we think it does.
It actually distances us from the very connection we crave.
Why It Feels So Hard to Trust Someone New
If fear is clouding the way you see others, it starts to color everything:
You assume someone won’t like you.
You read neutral behavior as rejection.
You write people off because of one off interaction.
That fear makes you overly cautious. It keeps you scanning for red flags, trying to self-protect, and avoiding real vulnerability.
Let’s keep it real: when you compare a new person to your closest, longest-standing friend, you’re setting them up to fail. That bestie from college? Y’all have history. You’ve gone through things together. You’ve repaired after conflict. You’ve built something over years.
That didn’t happen overnight.
So when we expect that same depth from someone we just met, and then feel disappointed when it doesn’t click right away, we forget that trust is earned, not downloaded like an app.
If you want a new relationship to feel real, it needs room to breathe.
That means giving people space to show you who they are. It means practicing what I call the "wait and see" approach: staying open, staying grounded, and watching what unfolds. No over-investing. No instant deep dives. Just curiosity, connection, and presence.
You don’t have to walk into every room like no one’s ever hurt you. But you do have to stop assuming everyone will.
Start leading with curiosity instead of fear.
That’s where the healing—and the connection—begins.
Ready to Build Real Connection Again?
If you’re ready to stop overthinking every interaction and start showing up with more confidence, I created something for you:
How to Trust Again and Make New Connections
It’s a free guide filled with tangible, research-informed tips to help you:
Reframe the way you think about trust
Recognize the thoughts that are keeping you isolated
Learn how to be open without oversharing or self-abandoning
Start building community with more ease and less anxiety
📥 Get your guide HERE
Because real connection isn’t built through fear. It’s built through trust. One small risk at a time.
